Sunday, 15 January 2012

I LOVE Skip Beat!

Thursday, 21 April 2011


I am a bit of a Korean Drama freak. I watched my first Korean Drama in June 2010. It was a hugely popular drama called You're Beautiful, starring Jang Geun Suk, Park Shin Hye, Lee Hongki, Jung Yong Hwa & UEE.

I was hooked. I don't even know how I found out about this drama... one day I just started watching it. Like it was destiny keke. Maybe not, but nonetheless I absolutely loved it and I became hooked. Now, I don't know what drama I watched second, or really any of the chronological succession, but I know I have watched A LOT of Korean dramas, some of which I have watched multiple times. I can only guess how many times I have rewatched some. I can't be accurate.

Anyway. I can't possibly take note of all the dramas I have watched. No seriously, I actually can't remember them all off the top of my head. Instead, here is a collection of some of the dramas I have loved the most:

* You're Beautiful
* Coffee Prince
* Goong
* Secret Garden
* Boys Over Flowers
* King of Baking Kim Tak Gu
* Spring Waltz
* Oh! My Lady!
* Shining Inheritance
* My Girlfriend is a Nine-tailed Fox
* Full House
* My Girl
* Paradise Farm
* Mary Stayed Out All Night
* Personal Taste
* Coffee House
* Delightful Girl Choon Hyang
* The Woman Who Still Wants To Marry
* Pasta
* Dream High
* My Princess
* My Lovely Kim Sam-Soon

These are all the ones I can think of *blush* Oh dear... well I did say it was a bit of an obsession ^_^

Also, they aren't actual Korean dramas, but here are some Korean movies I have seen:

* Innocent Steps
* I'm A Cyborg (but it's okay)
* A Tale of Two Sisters
* Addicted
* My Boyfriend Is Type B
* Attack on the Pin-Up Boys
* My Mighty Princess
* Baby and I
* A Millionaire's First Love
* 2 Faces of My Girlfriend
* He Was Cool
* 200 Pounds Beauty
* My Tutor Friend
* My Little Bride
* Seducing Mr. Perfect

Again... these are just some of the ones I can remember... oh dear :P

Anyways, importantly... at the moment I am watching 49 Days. It is AMAZING. It's a 20 episode series, airing on Wednesday and Thursday evenings. I am currently waiting for episode 11 and 12 to be uploaded online with English subtitles. Once it is I will no doubt make a blog post about it... this series makes me so excited and full of suspense - I love it!

I watch a lot of J-dramas & anime as well... I'm not watching any at the moment though :( Maybe when I am I will write a post about my love for J-drama & Anime <3

A New Start

Time for a new post. Time to restart this blogging thing again. I haven't done this for like.. a year.. so I guess I'm a little bit rusty. So what has happened in the last year?

- I completed my BA degree in Religious Studies with a 2.1
- I became a bit obsessed with KPOP and K-dramas
- I started a postgraduate PGCE course
- I (once again) developed depression.
- I am on temporary leave from my course, and I'm still contemplating whether or not I wish to pursue a career in teaching Religious Education & Philosophy in Secondary School.
- I am on anti-depressants for my depression and self harm.

Well... most of that sounds pretty depressing, which wasn't what I was intending. Rather, I propose that this blog will henceforth be filled with happier thoughts, and likely a place to rant and express my obsessions :P

This may sound pathetic, but to be honest I don't really have many people to talk to. I have wonderful friends, but the truth is that most of them are not around much because they have moved elsewhere, they are uni friends and so they come from all over the UK, or they have uni, children or jobs which take up their time. I'm completely understanding of this, since I was a little like this when I was at university. However, that doesn't change the fact that really I have very few people to communicate with, and really most of my friends have different interests to me anyways. I guess what I am trying to say is that since I have little communication at the moment, I wish to try to regularly update this blog, almost as if I am talking to a friend. A friend who is interested in everything I am ^_^ I know it sounds lame, but I want to try this. I want to get things off my chest and express myself somehow. Right now I feel trapped. I need to let out my thoughts or I will go crazy.

I think I need this to grow.

I think I need this to get better.

This is the start of my new journey.

Hi. My name is Sophie and this is my blog.

Thursday, 29 April 2010

Tim Buckley - Song To The Siren

What music do I like? Well I could say a lot... but I love Tim Buckley. His voice makes me cry. I can't explain it. This one song - "Song To The Siren" (1969 Monkees or Works in Progress demo) - just... effects me. See, since, well I can't remember when, it seems it's always been with me, but I guess from around the age of 12 I remember first feeling this unbearable pain. Pain I'd never even thought existed which swallowed me whole.
During my adolescence I drank... a lot. Took drugs, smoked... hurt myself. Something I'm so ashamed of. I wasn't alone. Although we never said anything, we all knew we did it. It was known through no words, and didn't disrupt our friendship at all. I was so ashamed, but I didn't care. It sounds like an oxymoron but it makes sense to me. Disgusted and confused and ashamed of myself, yet I didn't care if the world knew. I would walk round drunk with scars on show and not care because nothing could hurt me as much as this.
I remember vividly before walking to school for an exam I slashed up my arms to the point where you couldn't even see flesh, just endless blood. It scared me. I had always done it to feel something - for the control, the sense of release, the distraction from this pain I felt and could never explain or comprehend. I wasn't proud, but it made me feel sane. It gave me a sense of calm. This time I just felt numb. I felt nothing, just a void. My mind hazed and eyes started to hurt. Maybe that's why I slashed up so bad. I don't even remember myself doing it. I'd always felt something before, but now I didn't even feel control.
It was at this time that I started listening to Tim Buckley. The first time I heard Song to the Siren I just collapsed. My body went loose, my mind was in a daze. My chest filled with such pain I couldn't suppress it. For a few seconds I couldn't breath, and the pit of my belly felt empty. And strangely, I felt overwhelmed. A sense of joy and love rushed through me, from my chest to the tips of my fingers and toes. I cry. Everything I've repressed pours out and I can't stop myself. All I'm left with is this sense of calm.
I decided to stop hurting myself. It was too terrifying. With that, I gave up the heavy drinking and the drug use. I still have my box of pills. I can't throw them away. I still add to them, and they still wait for the day of my suicide. But although I'm not happy, I leave them untouched. I stopped hanging out with certain people and threw myself into college. It was hard because I was so behind from the years of ignoring work. I'm now in my last few weeks of my undergraduate degree. When I was 14 I never thought I'd get this far.
I still have this pain, the pain whose origins I do not know. Why I am cursed with this I do not know. If I'll survive it I do not know. All I know is that when I turn on my CD and listen to Tim Buckley's Song to the Siren it's like the first time I heard it. My chest is overwhelmed with pain, and love which spreads to my fingers and toes. My body goes loose and my mind's in a daze. I feel emptiness in my stomach, I can't breath... and I cry.

Wednesday, 7 April 2010

Work Work Work

Okay so its been a while since I wrote anything here, and that is awful. I was trying to keep up with this and I guess I just lost track. Things have been hectic, but not as much as they should have been. Basically, I have a lot of work to do, but it hasn't been too hectic so far, because I haven't done the work. Now I'm freaking out.

My work:

1. 3000 word essay about Anti-Semitism/Anti-Judaism in the Gospel of John - Is it intentional? Is it just a non-harmful way of describing a religious group of people? How much is down to interpretation? Should the author have responsibility for how others, some hundreds of years later, interpret his text? Should he be responsible for the way people use his text to push their own prejudice views? Was his message meant to be global, or just to those at the time when early Christians were being prosecuted by the Jews. What do we say of the use of his work being used in Nazi propaganda?
There are a lot of questions here. I am starting to panic. It is in for the 12th April 2010.

2. 3000 word essay about why the 5 Ks are important to Sikh identity. Here I am going to talk about what the 5Ks originally and traditionally meant for Sikhs, largely those living in the Punjab, and then talk about the contempory issues of modernity (fashion, less traditional), and the diaspora of Sikhs worldwide - does living in another country which perhaps dresses differently and perhaps knows little of Sikh/Indian culture, tradition and beliefs make some Sikhs less traditional themselves and try harder to integrate into their new society.
This essay shouldn't be too hard. I kind of know where I am going with this, however, I have not made any notes yet. It is in for 23rd April 2010

3. What I am really cacking myself about is my dissertation. I have been very naughty. I have had all this time and done very little work. I have a lot of reading and notes to make. Then I need to write another 8000 words, which I'm sure will come fine if I do the reading, but can I really do all that reading in such a small amount of time? and with time flying by, will I be able to reach a good standard and write about what they expect me to write about? This is in for May 1st 2010.

4. Exam for Sikhism. Not sure of the date yet - I have a lot of studying and spelling to learn! Will probably be in early May 2010.

5. Exegesis for the module on John - 1500 words. In for 10th May 2010 I think.

So yes. A lot of work, to say the least. And the worse thing is? I can't be bothered. I'm so mentally drained it scares me considering how much work I have to do. I'm absolutely cacking myself. And to make matters worse, I go back to Bangor on Sat 10th April 2010 and I have no money. My loan doesn't go in till the 23rd. What will I do for food?!

This is stressing me out just thinking about it. I should get back to work :(

Thursday, 28 January 2010

I Suck

Well... I didn't quite manage to read 50 books in 2009. I read:

1.Chobits 4
2.Walt Whitman – Song of Myself
3.David Boring – Daniel Clowes
4.Ghost World – Daniel Clowes
5.Marmalade Boy 4
6.Marmalade Boy 7
7.Marmalade Boy 8
8.The Stars' Tennis Balls – Stephen Fry
9.Join Me – Danny Wallace
10.Love Hina 3
11.Little Women - Louisa May Alcott
12.Shin Chan Manga 2
13.Your And My Secret 1
14.Happy Hustle High 1
15.Happy Hustle High 2
16.Hot Gimmick 1
17.Hot Gimmick 2
18.Yes Man – Danny Wallace
19.Hot Gimmick 3
20.Chobits 5
21.The Food Revolution – John Robbins
22.Chobits 6
23.Hot Gimmick 4
24.Hot Gimmick 5
25.Ice Haven - Daniel Clowes
26.Hot Gimmick 6
27.Shin Chan 3
28.Tokyo Zombie
29.Scoop – Evelyn Waugh
30.To Kill A Mockingbird – Harper Lee
31.Suite Scarlett – Maureen Johnson
32.The China Study – T.C. Campbell
33.Vile Bodies – Evelyn Waugh
34.In Search of Zarathustra: The First Prophet and the Ideas That Changed the World - Paul Kriwaczek
35.The Bermudez Triangle – Maureen Johnson
36.Summer Blonde – Adrian Tomine
37.A Short History of Myth – Karen Armstrong
38.The Perks of Being a Wallflower

15 proper books
19 manga
3 graphic novels

Oh well, hopefully I'll have more time to read this year :)
But not for the moment. I have to push myself to write 2000 words tonight that need to be handed in tomorrow as part of my dissertation work :( wish me luck!